The Unsatisfied Women of Plenty of Fish

I’ve been searching around various different blogs lately trying to find different people’s experiences in using PlentyofFish. Lately, I’ve been stumbling across some blog posts by some women who are out in the dating scene looking for potential male suitors. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of disappointment in the men on the site. And for the most part, these men are making a lot of the common mistakes that I’ve mentioned repeatedly on this very blog. Lets take a further look at two of these examples, shall we?

The Saving Diva

Saving Diva setup a Plenty of Fish profile and has commented that she receives many short lame messages containing such subject lines as Hi, cute pic, etc. as I’ve discussed in my post about sucky subject lines.

“One guy actually referred to me as “sweetpea.” I haven’t been responding to the majority of the messages, and I haven’t received a decent message yet. Is this how all online dating sites are? If so, count me out! I need a little effort put into a message.”

So far though, she has actually gone out on a number of dates with some guys she met on Plenty of Fish. However, it was apparent that not all went well; below are a few of the men’s dating faux pas:

  • A couple of guys ended up lying about their height and were shorter than described in their profiles
  • One of these had questionable manners
  • One guy lied about his age
  • Another didn’t look like his pictures
  • and a couple of them were quite boring

So, as we can see, the selection of decent guys on the site are few and far between, though her POF date#3 seemed to be a winner despite owning a Porshe Boxster S (apparently that’s a turn-off?)

Romi from The Year of the Chick

Romi had an excursion on Plenty of Fish back in October which resulted in some humorous blog posts, but she basically concluded at the end that all she found were duds. Along with Dating Diva, she also received a lot of crappy email messages:

“I find that every time I enter the site and cruise around, there are five emails waiting after only a couple of minutes. What this means of course is sifting through a lot of crap, such as: ”Hey baby”—crap, “Can I see more pictures?”—crap, “I want to make you my everything”—crap, etc, etc, etc.”

I don’t think she ever went on a date with anyone, but it’s clear in her making fun of the ridiculous messages she got why she wouldn’t or couldn’t find a decent date on the site.


So, it seems that these two women, who seem like great catches, just aren’t getting the kind of quality game fish that you’d find on paid dating sites or in real life for that matter. This just goes to prove my theory that the competition between men on is quite weak despite the incredible large quantity.

This is both good for those of us able to display interesting attractive personalities through the site but also bad because it makes it more difficult to stick out amongst the rest of the mackerels.

Also, it appears that both Saving Diva and Romi experienced the same thing I had when I set up the fake online profile and received tons and tons of bad dating emails messages with ridiculous short sited subject lines like; hi, hey, hello, etc.

Another problem that is pretty apparent to me is the lying. Now, that is something I just don’t understand. When you setup a Plenty of Fish profile you have to realize that the intent is to eventually meet other people in real life. And when your first impression to that person is of being a liar then you are off to a really bad start. Chances are that there isn’t going to be a second date and you basically wasted your time.

All in all, I am beginning to understand the frustrations of women on plentyoffish. It’s like the guys aren’t even trying. Seriously, these guys really need to start reading my blog…

54 thoughts on “The Unsatisfied Women of Plenty of Fish

  1. In regards to the first girl (Diva), if she doesn't like the subject lines, thinks their too short of description; why doesn't she make an EFFORT herself and be the first to initiate an online conversation instead of waiting for the guy to make the 1st move. I thought women in today's society were supposed to be more independent. Guess not. She also makes these points about some of her dates:

    —-A couple of guys ended up lying about their height and were shorter than described in their profiles.

    —-One of these had questionable manners
    —-One guy lied about his age
    —-Another didn't look like his pictures
    and a couple of them were quite boring.

    Let me tell you something…. the same goes true for guys. I'd say that most women lie about their age and ESPECIALLY weight. On my dates I found some women boring and some that didn't look like their picture.

    I am beginning to understand the frustrations of men on plentyoffish. It's like the girls aren't even trying. Plus, most women lie heavily on their profiles.

  2. I have been on the service nearly two years, and women are not any better. The Princess attitude abounds, and women are unlikely to even reply to a serious initial post.

    I think a lot of women are on merely for the ego-boost of having strangers compliment them.

  3. Both of the anonymous posts above are 100% fact. I was actually thinking the exact same things while reading the article, amazing.

  4. Quote "This just goes to prove my theory that the competition between men on is quite weak despite the incredible large quantity."

    Most women on POF have their expectations ser a little high … and they still expext those men to line up in their email queue to await approval.

    They are just simply expecting too much. Why would guys, at the level expected need to line up in their queue on the internet? Let's get real.

    Guys will always go where they can get the best deal with the least effort. POF isn't the place.

    If women actually knew how many pretty awesome guys sign up with POF and quickly delete their account within hours or a week or two … they be shocked. It would certainly be a wakeup call in terms of womens expectations.

    The guys women are looking for are not there, because the women these guys are looking for are not there.

    NOW, you can't totally fault women on this. POF is designed to maximize ad revenue over effectiveness. That in in itself creates a lot of the problems. POF does not provide a way for women to distant themselves from men they are not interested in. The best strategy for women is too pick you they want and chase them. Unfortunately women on POF will only do that for the top enf guys … most of which are lying to be that guy. Again it's an expectation problem.

    I view POF as a collection of women looking for bargains. Forget it, it's not going to happen, you'll never be able to keep the guy, at best you'll be sharing him.

    Women looking for bargins will only attract amateur players.

    Again, this is another issue with the way POF is setup. Without cross match or segmentation for the user base, women hust don't know how limiyed their requirements are. The are at least 20% of women on that site, if cross match was available, would just see a blank page when they hit their matches button.

  5. plentyoffish is hateful and sexist against MEN

    I get asked by women what I think about Plenty of Fish. Thinking is for the impaired, DEDUCTION is for people with normal IQ.

    First of all, as of now, Thursday, November 26, 2009, one's level of education is categorized under "smarts." Smarts are not defined by professional degrees. The smartest people I know are self-educated. An amateur built the Arc. A bunch of guys with diplomas built the Titanic. Even Moliere said "an educated fool is more foolish than an uneducated one."

    This does not mean that I am compatible with the pathetic modern day version of the "coffee shop lawyer" — "the internet debater quack." And I already ran into one of those idiots, thanks to the site's profound calculations.

    Secondly, a man who does not know and knows it, is not foolish. A man who does not know and thinks that he knows — is. You do not know anything about love. Inventing an algorithm to match people, when you do not know anything about love, leads to mismatching them.

    Thirdly since when are men not allowed to show nipples? Does your girlfriend make you pee sitting down? How dare they shame men for being men! As Baltasar Gracian said "nothing enhances a man as much as being a man." So it follows that the more you apologize for being male the more repulsive your are.

    Fourthly confident men do not try to intimidate people with warnings because you can only push an invertebrate. Spines do not fold like wings. You have to be an invertebrate yourself to project the same behavioral response on someone else.

    Put two and two together and we have a sycophant, a conniving moral coward. I do not put people down, I do not even put them in their place, but I am not responsible for lifting them up, so I will not pretend they are anywhere else than where they are. If they do not like where they are they can stick their head in the sand and hope nobody bites their butt.

    This was my profile mhtml:

  6. “online dating” has been bad since at least the late 1990’s (after trying multiple sites, i gave up a couple years later… i was too stubborn.)

  7. There is no doubt that women on pof develop unrealistic expectations,which become more unrealistic with time,until the burn themselves out and give up.
    I’m sure that receiving 50 or messages a day doesn’t help things. Some like it. They feel they are being worshipped or something. Weird.
    Its a dating site. Browse,talk,meet,and get off (the site)

  8. “I am beginning to understand the frustrations of women on plentyoffish. It’s like the guys aren’t even trying.”

    Why, is it always “the guys” job to try? I thought women had equal opportunities! 99% of women in internet dating, just sit on there fat butts, waiting for all the incoming, then take pleasure in rejecting guys. I get about one unsolicited message per month if I’m lucky. Women are just a bunch of lazy tw**s who are severely deluded as to their self worth; IMHO.

  9. “Women are just a bunch of lazy tw**s who are severely deluded as to their self worth; IMHO.”

    I concur. Especially the online dating girls. some post this sweet and innocent thing when in actuality they are evil raging skanks who put on a good show.

  10. women are unsatisfied no matter what guys do for them. so this is not a real significant different thing from real life.

  11. My pof experence..Well I’m not fat, which seems to be the common beef men have about this site. I’m very pretty and have a great job and education, no kids, ex’s or baggage.. After being on POF for about 2 months I fled!!! I had 128 men on my blocked list who’s messages were beyond disgusting!!! I met two guys in person. The first damaged goods looking to take his anger out on another woman for the girlfriend that dumped him, he was possible the most horrible person I had ever met. The second an honest very nice man with great manners and just a wonderful person. There are great people on POF but they are very few and far between. The problem the good people both men and women get tired of the trash and delete their accounts pretty quick.

  12. Agree with Shannon. There is bound to be good people on a website that is so popular and large, however it is very difficult to strike gold when there is so much chalk around.
    I generally got good reply results when messaging ladies of interest; I would take the time to read their profile; aim my attention at ladies I felt I had common grounds with, craft out a personalised message, and a subtle hint of wit without seeming like a clown.

    I quickly found that very few of them had much to say for themselves; nor able to hold a lasting or progressing conversation which wasn’t about themselves (several weeks after initial “hellos”).
    Maybe there is a flaw in what I am looking for, or in how I approach people; perhaps I am not interesting enough for someone to bother engaging with.
    All of that could be the case, and probably does add to the problem; but I really think that the root cause is that for every “hi baby ur so pretty; can i see mor picturs” guy out there trying to get laid; there is a “thnx i just wnt 2 tha hare-dressers nd got teh new panten put in it” lady waiting to be showered with compliments. Sometimes both come away with what they are looking for.
    The girls I did eventually meet from the site turned out to be absolute head-cases; and were appropriately named by my female friends and house-mates as “head-f*ck-girl #1, 2, n…..”.

    I also think that the kind of people described above are the majority; which is why a free site attracts them; and that’s why the good people will leave.
    I am shy and reserved; not desperate to settle for someone for the sake of it; so I left.

    Is it any different when you go to a bar; or a club?
    30 sleasy guys dancing up to your lady friends and offing them drinks; telling them they look sexy, 50p to call their mothers, get their coat.
    30 girls acting slutty to obtain said free drinks, showing their best and sexiest poses.

    1 or 2 of each sex who are genuine… If it’s meant to happen, they will find each other.

  13. My experience with POF so far has been horrid. The men on the site have all either mis represented themselves, or tried to get in my pants when I clearly state on my profile that that will not happen on first date or until I get to know the person and that could/would be forthcoming. I have had so many dicks respond, as I do not mis-represent my self at all; and anyone can tell that from my profile; yet I get all these weirdo dates; that some seem to dump me on the first date (probably cause they knew damn well I was what I was, and wasn’t coming off of it just like that – let them go buy a whore).. a few I have entertained, one remains a friend, another guy had a few possibilities but he was far to “in my personal space”; like give a gal some space.

    I am looking for a place to list the names of dudes that you other woman should definitely stay away from in any way. I am pro-woman but not a lesbian. I want to see woman get a fair shake at it. I cannot believe all the winy males that have written on here… all I can say to them is to grow some balls, groom yourselves and treat a woman the way you would like to be treated, we are very different, men and woman, but good people are not. Yet we are all the same – we are single people (one would hope they are single but there has been one instance when the man was not single and I didn’t know) Male or female. I don’t mis-represent myself and do not like it when anyone does regardless of what part of life you are talking about. TY

  14. This site is about 90% gold diggers and pathetic b*tches looking for aman with money, career and can offer them long terme security, bottom line!! I had a profile up there and could not get any kind of responses no matter how heartfelt and thoughout they were, I never asked about sex and still I was ignored by even fat ugly women, you want to know why? because I choose not to state or post an information about my job!! Once I came back with a the same pictures and wrote even less in my profile but stated I was a lawyer and wrote a few bland sentences, I actually came off as an egotistical man but still I got many messages from women, I did not even have to write messages because they were flooding my inbox!! nothing but desperate lying gold digging skanks who complain about the guys all the time!! you are just getting what you deserve for being dishonest and seeking out sugar daddies to support your princess lifstyles and your brat children!! ALL MEN SHOULD CREATE BOGUS PROFILES AND STATE YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL AND I DONT CARE IF YOUR FAT AND HAVE NO LEGS YOU WILL SEE HOW MANY GOLD DIGGERS FLOOD YOUR INBOX HOPING TO MEET YOU!! THIS SITE SUCKS PERIOD!! THE WOMEN ARE PIECES OF SH*T TO SAY THE LEAST, ESPECIALLY THE STUPID WANNA BE BLONDE BIMBOS YOU SEE ALOT ON THERE.

  15. I am a woman who is honest and genuinely seeking a friend, dating and see where it goes kind of girl. Only to find that majority of men on POF are looking to screw anything that moves. I think the site more appropriately should be called Plenty of PIGS. It is just disgusting and shocks me that very few men have any integrity, self pride or self esteem by wanting to sleep with anything that has two legs! Especially in my age group (50+) and further more, the fact most of them can’t function properly to start with… Thank goodness for Viagra! LOL!!!!

  16. Ok, how about I share a perspective from the MALE point of view because women on that site aren’t exactly saints either.

    Like others have mentioned, they are over-pretentious princesses looking for someone who has money, good looks or both. Even what I thought were decent profile descriptions never replied back to my messages, and I know the issue that most guys on that site make it hard for real men who want to find a girlfriend hard to.

    Maybe the issue stems from all the douchebags who leave typical frat boy messages, but still, my messages don’t get replies. Now, I could have lied about myself on that site too, but I didn’t, because I don’t like to set people up for the worst. I’m overweight and I’m not happy about it, but I am working on it by going to the gym and watching my diet. Maybe it’s the fact that I have that on my page that diverts them away from me. I don’t know, but I’m not surprised if it is that either.

    So, even if I leave messages about trivial things like a favourite movie or their favourite band, I still get no reply back. Like someone else said, you claim you’re independent, yet you wait for someone to sweep you away. Yeah, that worked out in the 50’s when women were considered stay-at-home house-wives, but now you’re independent, you don’t need men to hold your hand, how about YOU try to hit on men instead of us doing all the hard work, because apparently nothing short of money and looks, please you.

  17. hmmm, i dunno, but i definitely find this whole discussion interesting.

    1. what kind of desirable woman needs to use an online dating site anyway? just saying. Guys you know i’m right when i ask this. if she was really worth having, she’d get hit on regularly every day and by guys who she feels are worth having. if this is not happening, something is WRONG! sorry but it’s true.

    2. Ladies, ladies, ladies, please for the sake of all things good and holy stop being so d@mn naive! no man wants ANYTHING to do with a woman short of sex! we get interested and begin to want more when after our penis has caused us to strike up a conversation, we find that you are actually a interesting and enchanting person. then we find that although we still want to bang you; we also want to spend time with you. imagine that! to get a guy to see you as more than what nature intended, ie a object to impregnate, you have to actually have some personality and be pleasant to be around. wow! why is that so hard to understand? no man has any need for a women if she isn’t being sexual. if all i was gonna do was hang out with you, i’d hang with my boys. i’d have more fun and wouldn’t have to deal with so much unnecessary drama.

    3. ladies, I’ve been on plenty of And although the guys are pretty weak, i have NEVER seen a profile from a woman that was actually half as good or better than most of the crap guys put on. in fact, i’d say on average the woman’s profiles are easily worse. like saying “i’m just trying to get my 100 words in so email me if you are interested” or “i hate writing about myself, so i have no real idea what to say”…REALLY?! and that happens more on the “attractive girl” profiles than any other.

    generally, yes there are man whores on PoF, but honestly, that’s to be expected. no matter how nice the guy, if sex is not on his mind he wouldn’t be talking to you in the first place. but ladies, please stop complaining about us lazy, no game, having men when most of you couldn’t “sell yourself” out of a paper bag. if it was not for the fact that we men are sexually driven, NONE of you would get by with the sorry profiles that you post.

  18. So? What is the answer?…
    For a decent looking 57 year old
    guy on long island with a good job,
    fun conversations and creative talents?

    I have come across women using photos
    from 20 years ago and lying about everything.
    I felt so sorry for one that I took her out to
    eat- all she wanted was to get me in bed-
    it didn’t happen.

    Another was morbid over her ‘botched breast
    surgery’ … Another told me her nipples were
    replaced by the flesh behind her ears( no kidding)…
    Another stalked me in my own town.

    The prettier girls around 50 are looking to explore
    into your life for how much gold you are worth. This
    is not love. It’s business.

    Another one I felt sorry for had a photo where
    she was about 70 pounds lighter. She had on
    a low cut top and had a mound of pimples
    on her shoulders.

    Hard to believe I know, but all true!

    There was one woman who I really felt
    that I could have fallen on love with, she
    told her friends how well she thought of
    me. We went out for two weeks and she contacts
    me fir the past 4 years every so often to
    tell me she is dreaming about me. Her issue?
    She wants a rich man. I’m doing fine, but I’m
    not rich. She never found anyone and is losing
    her house. Crazy stuff! She called me once to
    come down to North Carolina where she was staying
    in a motel. I told her if I come I will stay in the
    room with you and be a perfect gentleman. She
    declined. I really do believe we could have made
    a nice couple.
    Online dating has been ridiculous.
    Where can a nice Jewish guy meet a nice
    intelligent fun female?

  19. My ex boyfriend has a profile on plenty of fish… He is a sociopath, pathological liar. Makes me laugh… in his profile he states he’s looking for a long term relationship, which he most certainly is not. 48 years old, engaged six times, and manages to bilk any women he dates out of money, always promising to pay is back. He has no desire for a relationship, let alone an honest one. He is out to sleep with as many women as he can. BEWARE…..stay away from user name jmw6drj32…… he is TROUBLE……

  20. It’s self-explanatory or should be, to the vast majority of women.

    Most men do not take online dating seriously, as they view many of the women online as in dire straits financially and only seeking a ‘sugar daddy’. Yes ladies, the year is 2012, if you can’t take care of yourself financially, don’t seek your magic bullet from the internet.

    I tried it out for awhile with the mindset of having some adult fun. Based on the women I met, there is no way I would have ever considered dating them. The issues/baggage encountered were astounding and the overriding consensus I found was women seeking financial assistance due to either their own lack of ambitions or opportunity. However unfortunate for them, I am certainly not going to help them out, considering that’s their overriding concern. Not a great way to start.

    I would find your significant other through other means, either friends or family, or friends of coworkers etc. There are much better reliable and tried and true alternatives. Get out of the lazy mindset that online dating is the only option.

  21. Its a shame the perspective is so narrow on this. As an expert on the field of psychology involving dates and flirting, there are two aspects to these girls disappointment. The first I would say for most women on plenty of fish is to try and take the side of a man who is EXPECTED to do the approach. With a variety of different women it is impossible to assume what the girl would want to hear. Therefore you unfortunately should be okay with an initial simple HELLO. Its called an introduction. If i were at a bar, I wouldn’t launch into everything right away. Now i get that this is different as its online, but then thats what the profile is for. Read about the guy, look at his pictures.. get your initial jolt of excitement there, but get off the high horse of entitlement and expectation. What i have found quite funny myself is the turn about for a beautiful girl who wrote in her profile that she please would rather NOT have a lame short message saying hello or a compliment, etc etc. However when she initiated the contact with me, she made ALL her mistakes she protested against. And its scary how often that happens when the girl takes the initiate. To be fair, women are equally as bad at the approach as men on this site. The only difference is that the women hold the rod of power in most cases. The reason for this.. our two separate triggers of attraction. Guys are more solidly connected to physical triggers of attraction where as women are rooted more in personality. This does not mean they can’t find men sexy, but more often than not a good looking man can blow it by being an idiot, where as for many men a gorgeous woman can act like an idiot and they will still express some interest… this is NOT shallow but our instinctive makeup. This leads to why it is easier for woman to harness the attention as physical allure is far more potent and easy to control. So now you women have the power.. you’ve gotten lazy in communicating your personality and needing it to sell. But you are quick to jump down a man’s through for it.. or rather.. NOT 😛 I would suggest to any girl who moans and complains about pathetic boring opening lines that you get off your princess high horse and attempt to approach a man on the same standards you expect. And when you start hitting discomfort, use that and hold onto it the next time you act less than compassionate to a man who is being a gentleman and just introducing himself. Having said that.. there are plenty of perverts on that site as well, I have heard many stories from female friends of mine and dates i’ve been on. Please, note that its the way of the world. A large population are complete idiots who do act like little boys. But, learn to filter through those on or offline rather than reject everyone and you’ll be a much happier dater.

  22. UK site full of overbearing, clannish clicque, esp the Forum, either agree or get trolled, esp women and 3 male regulars who must be multi tasking like hell to put everyone down with unaccepting, verbose drivel,,very needy people who hog the site as a replacement for a real relationaship.Many are not interested in a relationship, borne out by the Forums..just putting people down who don’t agree with the intrenched cabat of long time served “regulars” who have been on the site for over 8 YEARS..go figure..???

  23. Many of the women knock 10 years off their age. I met with one girl that claimed to be average weight. She used blurry pictures, When I met her she was easily 300 pounds. How can you think that is average.

  24. It’s interesting how many men are suggesting that women make the initial contact when we are taught that men must be the hunters….challenge is half the fun of the catch, etc. Yes, it is 2012 but any time women behave as adult, sexual creatures with just as many healthy desires as the male, men generally decide that she’s too easy. At 50, why should we act like innocent virgins??? I’ve been internet dating for more years than I care to admit to but I’m not going to settle! I’m an attractive, successful, middle-aged woman that is very secure with herself and brings as much to the table as I expect my partner to but I don’t want to hear how “the ex” ran up tens of thousands of dollars in debt (ummm, and you didn’t know?) and I’m certainly not going to pay for their mistakes!

  25. im 23 and even i can agree with most of these comments. im a pretty decent looking guy with an average job in construction, pays well where i live. Not a single good looking girl messaged me on pof, 5% of the girls I messaged will respond. Considering this percentage, why on earth would i read their lame profiles and come up with something interresting to say? I did this for the first 5-10 times, but it didnt help. Either I come up with something catchy and it looks like im desperate and tryign to hard, or I say hello and im boring or lazy.

    The girls that do respond always came with some sort of catch. I talked to one girl on the phone and she was on welfare and talked about her ex boyfriends nonstop, I’m too nice and listened for 20 minutes until I said I had to go (which I actually did). I met up with 2 girls in person, first girl looked nothing like her pictures, literally to the point I didn’t even recognize her. She must have posted pictures of when she was 18 and now she’s 21 and alot has changed. The second girl was decent looking, but I soon found out she had no job, living with her parents, and is 30 000$ in debt from university courses for music which have zero potential for a job. And she wanted to go back to school for another 4 years. Another girl that looked attractive in her picture I was supposed to meet, she seemed interrested but then bailed twice with little warning.

    I had a serious profile at first, which got me very few messages from girls. I then put up a laid back profile making fun of myself and just joking around, yet still getting the message across of what type of guy I am. I got way more messages. Still none from attractive girls

    The scariest part about pof though, the only girls I’ve recognized on the site browsing profiles have been REALLY messsed up girls that I’ve known in the past. I’m talking the most fucked up girls I’ve ever known lol. And I’ve never seen one normal girl I’ve known in real life on the site.

  26. Same experience. Decent-looking, educated, well-dressed nice guy who’s not a doormat.

    Problem? According to Hollywood, that’s not attrative anymore. One must be a tattooed, UFC wannabe future convict. That’s sexy to women these days. You know, the bad boy the the girl can work on changing over time?

    Profile after profile they complain about the vert dbags they fall for. I see the same thing in real life, but not quite to the same extent yet. A lot of these women are clinically nuts!

    Men have determined that looking ‘overseas’ (not USA, UK, Canada) tends to yeild better qualty results. That or have resorted to being a Charlie Sheen…use them and pay them to leave and miss all the drama.

    This princess-fem era has really turned things upside down, but, I think things are going to change soon. The good men out there are figuring out they’re not interested in the typical Western trash anymore.

    While I don’t want a relapse to the days when men ruled the world, perhaps the one hope is that an honest, level playing field will result. Unfortunately, I’ll be 60 by then.

  27. I have been on POF for 4 months, I am in South Florida. Morals and Ethics take a back seat to wealth and class jumping. My age group are the 4o’s- 50 women, the list of must haves is very long and mostly very unrealistic. I work out 6 days a week and have a great bod and decent looks and a BMW. I do not get answers to my e mails and when I do its like I am one of many, take a number. The woman act like they are doing you a favor by giving you a chance to raise their children, take them on vacation and spend lavishly on them. Gourmet food , fine wine, etc. No thanks,

  28. I agree with many of the other men on here……I guess it’s in with the internet, and out went common manners. Many of the women that you write, don’t even bother replying….rude! Even if I’m not interested, I still am kind enough to write back and say so, so they aren’t out there wondering. Women do lie on their profiles, and MANY need to learn the difference of what “Average”, “A few extra Pounds”, and “BBW/Tall” means…..I’ve seen photos of women that are well over 250 lbs….yet….they claim they are “a few extra pounds”…….and if they are only posting head and shoulder shots of themselves…..there’s reason for it!!….I took a chance on one that she was cute…..but only had head and shoulders shots put up….and billed herself as “a few extra pounds”….met at the movie theater….and she was right at 250 lbs!……do they actually think that by starting out a relationship with deception, it’s going to lead to anything but disaster?…….you see ladies posting that they are not smokers….yet….you find them posting photos with cigs in their hands!…..and believe me….if ALL of their photos are of them with drinks in their hands in the bar somewhere…..there is probably a good chance she has a drinking problem!…..they complain that the men are only looking at the photos, but they are just as bad, and pass up many good men, simply because they don’t want to take the time to actually READ the profiles, and get to know the person……..I don’t know how many times that I have written very respectful emails to ladies…..and you don’t hear back from them….so you go to send them another email…..only to find out that they have “blocked” you for no reason at all……so don’t fall for the women that give you the “whoa is me” story…..they are probably treating the men the exact same way!

  29. Hello,

    I just have a few things to say about what some of you all are saying on here.

    Frankly, I believe that both the women and the men are both in the wrong here. First of all, (and I’m a woman by the way so….) I think that the women, if they can’t find someone who they like messaging them NEEDS to go and message someone else or let them know they have interest in someone on the site. Or several someones. Come on, it’s the 21st century, and we’re stuck in our chauvinist ways thinking that the guys have this big job to come and find us. COME ON LADIES! If you really want to find someone, look for someone.

    Guys, now I realize that this doesn’t apply to all of you (as does the previous paragraph not apply to all the ladies), but you need to learn some manners on these sites. Just because you can’t see her or aren’t talking to her in real life, does not mean that she doesn’t feel the same way as she would in real life. So treat her well, and she’ll (hopefully) reciprocate. And don’t be offended when we don’t message you back. We might not be attracted to you. So what if you sent us a nice message? Does that mean we are REQUIRED to message you back and say we’re interested when we’re not? No. No, we’re not. Perhaps you have “nice guy” syndrome, and I suggest you look it up. You choose to message us based on our looks and what you can read on your virtual screen. We have that equal opportunity to do the same when deciding whether or not to message you back. And if you’re not looking at our profile page or pictures and just messaging us because you’re desperate or whatever other excuse you have concocted, it’s probably a good thing that we DIDN’T decide to message you back.

    I have a special message for those of you that are complaining because we are “gold diggers” (and I have my eye on one of you writers in particular). Not every girl is a “gold digger”, and personally, I don’t think that many of the girls on the site are. Girls don’t need a rich guy. Girls want someone who is DOING something with their life and is GOING somewhere with it. No girl (well, most girls) won’t want to date some guy who is going on forty who still lives in his mother’s basement and can’t make up his mind on what he wants to do with his life. How is he ever supposed to support himself or anyone else? How, (if the relationship ever develops) is he supposed to help support a family if he isn’t doing anything with his life? Don’t get me wrong, not all girls want to be taken care of their whole life and never have to work. We just don’t want to take care of a lazy boyfriend/husband who has no future prospects and who isn’t even looking towards the future.

    Anyways, just remember this girls and guys: Girls, go after some guys once in a while. Guys, be respectful of us. We have a right to deny you for any reason, just as you have that same right against us. Guy who hates gold diggers, we aren’t gold diggers, we just don’t want to support someone who can’t support himself. We don’t want to be supporting male gold diggers. And yes, they DO exist.

  30. I Am 49 yrs old 6ft 1 195 lbs for the most part I take care of myself Have A good job dress well etc… I signed up on P.O.F. most of the women that responded, were in there fifties and looked to be in there 60s Fat wrinkly faces Down wright damn fugly some had no teeth and some had no hair, In all honesty im probably a 7 maybe an 8 on a good day , but these women 1s 2s 3s Had no problem Hitting me up for a date, Honestly if i would have went out with one of these monsters people would freak the F*** out. Does anyone Know of a site that seperates the 1s from the 10s ? this realy started to give me a Ugly image of myself and i actually thaught about getting lippo to take care of my 5lbs overweight self, If your average or over average looking, I strongly suggest do not signe up on P.O.F. these women will ruin your self image and you will begin to think you are Dog and you will never get a good lookin girl again, Your better off goin to the bars, Just dont get caught up with these fat ass ugly cows that dont do anything to loose the fat, And if you see a good looking girl on there chances are its a glamour shot or a pic taken 20 years ago, I stongly suggest run frome P.O.F. it shauld be called plenty of whales.

  31. there’s nothing but a bunch of weirdo’s and snobs on pof those guys think their all that but are losers and I hate them.I had 3 coffee dates with different guys and they all left me in the street after like I was garbage.some of these guys have been there for years and they will stay.

  32. All this below from that chick poster two posts up is bullshiite.

    If this much was true, you wouldn’t see all the loser 20-year old chicks with three kids that you do on POF. All of a sudden, these chicks want to find their prince or man of their dreams…AFTER they let some bum ass loser in between their legs at least a few times???

    Yeah, right.

    As if we need women (who are notorious for not knowing anything about what they want) telling us what they want.

    LOL much?

    I did.

    I have a special message for those of you that are complaining because we are “gold diggers” (and I have my eye on one of you writers in particular). Not every girl is a “gold digger”, and personally, I don’t think that many of the girls on the site are. Girls don’t need a rich guy. Girls want someone who is DOING something with their life and is GOING somewhere with it. No girl (well, most girls) won’t want to date some guy who is going on forty who still lives in his mother’s basement and can’t make up his mind on what he wants to do with his life. How is he ever supposed to support himself or anyone else? How, (if the relationship ever develops) is he supposed to help support a family if he isn’t doing anything with his life? Don’t get me wrong, not all girls want to be taken care of their whole life and never have to work. We just don’t want to take care of a lazy boyfriend/husband who has no future prospects and who isn’t even looking towards the future.

  33. Funny how men have to make all the changes. Women have to put up a few pictures and they’re set.

    Men have to jump through a million hoops, and at the end of it all still have to pay for dinner.

    The liberated women of the western world! So opressed!

  34. Hmmmm POF What an intresting subject. Ok lets see… Ive read every blog on here and i have feedback on the ones that made the most sense. Even though some were funny as hell. I might not talk about yours, but you never know. Well lets start with the first few. I do believe men have been the one to initiate and pursue a women because of that physical attraction. After all we are men. The cavemen use to knock women out and drag them to thier beach houses in those primitive times. Why use words when that technique seemed to be very effective. We might have to go back to those primitive ways. The ladies of the new millenium think that there p***y comes from outer space and its the new frontier. You ladies have just been watching to much Oprah, when your life is really like a Jerry Springer or Maury Povich show. Who are you to judge a hard working male that breaks his back and has to deal with an a****le boss everyday. Im tryin to figure out who gave you that kind of power. If females had so much power, how come there isnt a female president?? Probably because to us males, whatever is in between your legs isnt as powerful as they think. Im just goin through the basics right now. Look at it this way. Why would i kiss your ass, when there are plenty of other quality women out there that would want to kiss mine instead?? And im not even asking for it. I agree that alot of men are lame as pieces of garbage with no future and whatever other crap your complaining about. But why do all men have to be blamed for this?? Stop getting brainwashed. Your expecting every man to be your Brad Pitt, when you cant even be an Angelina Jolie stunt double. If you have kids by some loser that we have to hear about all the time. How are you favoring us?? If a man just wants to get laid, there are such things called escort services. Why should we put on an act and spend our hard earned money on something that is just BS to begin with. I understand when a female has to deal with a bunch of weirdos and doesnt feel comfortable. But you ladies these days dont give a real guy a chance. Your almost worst then guys and your not ashamed of it. Like those girls that sleep with Hugh Heffner. They are beautiful!! But they will take a wrinkled d**k and b*** s for fame and money over a chanceof bein a normal person who is willing to find true love. And im a gentlemen. But i do have to say some of you b**ches are pretty retarted. And another tip quit trying to chase that bad boy guy cuz you will just end up like all the other dumbass women that go to POF with 20 kids and on welfare. If your so high and mighty and can take care of yourself, and are so much in control. What the hell are you doing on some no budget ass website?? Seems to me like your just lying to yourself. As for the dudes on that site. If your driving BMWs and have these badass jobs, why are you on there either?? But like the one homie said he was truthful and put his real weight and so on. And my advice to you brother is you dont need POF to tell you that your worthy. One day someone will come around and make you feel like you are. I am a true believer in,there is someone for everyone in this World, and i dont need some lame ass website to prove me otherwise. Yeah, i have a genuine profile in there. And yes i get alot of attention from it. But its from alot of women that lie and are full of s**t about almost every aspect of thier lives, So basically they just set themselves up for failure. I see myself as a great man with great ideas for my future. And if a women from POF cant recognize that. The hell with them. Cuz they are missin out on a good thing. So last and finally. Men lets be men a go for what we want. And conquer like the old days. And Women stop being so fickle and choosy, then complaing about exs and why your all alone with 20 kids. But with all that said. I wish everyone the best of luck in thier search for LOVE. Scincerly yours… One Badass Mofo…

  35. listen one badass mofo I am not fickle just looking to be treated with respect as a human being.pof,match.eharmony,okcupid,etc etc is a breeding ground for loser men who are antisocial and over sexed and expect women to do them for a cup of coffee.I a widow after a long happy marriage 35 years and I know what love is , you won’t find it online.these guys like my son said are losers or they’d find love in the real world without the internet.

  36. As a man, there are many problems with POF in my area. Yes, I have encountered the sugar daddy attitude testified by many men on here already. You can dismiss this as sexist or bitter, but it is reality to a certain extent. Many women genuinely do have unrealistic expectations. The recent popularity of women putting how much they want a “Mr Grey” or want treated like a “princess” I thought was just a romantic idea, but it turns out them don’t want a man to take control or be a gentleman, they want a wealthy, arrogant user.

    But they put no effort in. Those two forces work against each other. If you have expectations, you have to be prepared to put work in to ensure they are met. I have put many hours into perfecting my profile to come across as interesting, funny etc. and sometimes I get replies. Not often, but sometimes.

    I have been on two dates, one of them could have gone somewhere, the other girl was very desperate and naive. I find that the vast majority of women in my area are very picky about height, income, and various other shallow things. But yet they themselves are unwilling to put work into their profile – that is why the messages from many men are no good. You need to give us something to work with.

    Coming up with an interesting conversation with someone you literally know nothing about is difficult, next to impossible when all you have to go on is a picture. The fact that many of them admit they aren’t interesting enough to even be able to reach the word limit for profiles just demonstrates they either don’t take it seriously enough, hence why men don’t take them seriously, or they expect witty, intelligent men to contact them without putting the effort in. There are genuine women on POF, and genuine men too – unfortunately, the numbers are very small and they both get snapped up instantly.

    Another thing I have encountered is flaky women – women who seem interested and reply for one or two messages then stop responding. Not because the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, not because I couldn’t “close the deal.” Because they let their pre-conceptions about online dating put them off. I have also encountered women who send one line messages, and they are no better than the men who do it (except the messages are more banal and pointless and less vulgar).

  37. I have been researching about dating sites/guys/relationships etc etc
    the problem is not the dating sites,it’s the guys themselves don’t have a clue how to have a loving relationship.they don’t know how and don’t want to.
    they don’t know how to make a woman feel special and loved and thats why they get dumped.when a woman feels this she is yours forever.
    this is very simple…my late husband and I had this for 35 years.
    We mad a simple trip to get coffee fun as long as we were together.
    so it doesn’t take money or what your posessions are it’s how you make your lady FEEL!!!

  38. well in my experience with pof (plenty of fakes) don’t matter if your a nice Guy with even average looks don’t matter what their profile say their lying I sent lots of good. written emails to women about 30 or more and only chatted a little with about. 4 but man oh man my fake profile has alot I’m doing this as an experiment and so far pof is failing miserably I’m from a small town women here are little in amount any they.are taken so I’m trying pof after a month nothing but I know a female who just signed up a few days ago and already met and talked to guys this tells me women on there are pickier then what they actually claim to be

  39. A friend of mine calls these women explorers, make no mistake no matter how decent you are they are only out for themselves…and they will remain alone the rest of their lives. 
    These explorers explore into your life to see if you are serious and will put up with their ugliness ( inside and out) and fix their life that they themselves destroyed. Lost causes- every single woman that I have met online. I even gave a not too good looking girl with an attitude a chance, she presented a supposed heart of gold. She only sought free meals and what can you do for her immediately. I did not even know if I would want to make love to her, in her mind that’s all that I was looking for. Her face was barely acceptable, but I sought who she was inside. She acted out a whole scenario in which we would be doing so much together and that she was a saint and I was the best that she ever met, with all of the regular lines spouted. What I found was a very boxed in and mixed up person without a truly good heart looking for her own salvation. Resurrect the ashes of her life. Within two days she was upset that I have good circumstances, that I made sure of, and she does not. Jealousy. I am sick of these frumps.   Another close minded bitch who is not at all really happy with her life, trying to present that she is.. I am looking to add to a decent loving person’s life. I am not looking to resurrect the dead. 

  40. Moral of the story: take back your life and try dating differently.

    Remember how people dated before the internet existed, let alone smartphones? Technology has made many lazy and literally destroyed their ability to have patience, including taking the time to spell properly or use adequate grammar.

    Dating/Social websites are the perfect outlet for the destitute, socially inept and all manner of people suffering from mental disorders. Many bend the truth, including age, weight category, employment, introverted vs. extroverted haha. Apparently all of us online are ‘outgoing’?
    Since there aren’t many repercussions for lying on their profiles, many people choose to weave a wonderful tale about themselves.

    While there are exceptions, including some nice people on dating sites, many are just there for nefarious reasons, or they’re simply bored. You’d better have a thick skin and the patience of job to be able to deal with the strangeness that goes on dating sites.

    You’re simply not going to find someone with their act together [i.e.: well educated, employed, articulate, hobbies, close friends/family etc… know, a regular guy/gal].

    You may think it opens a whole world of dating opportunities.
    Yet most of the time you end up conversing with, or meeting men/women you wouldn’t think twice about, had you originally seen them ‘offline’.
    If you’re going to try it, give yourself a time limit and go easy on yourself, when/if you meet someone that wasn’t remotely as you imagined.

    For those that have met someone from a dating site, congrats. You’re the few, the proud.

  41. I am a genuine girl that has a profile on POF. I haven’t been on there very long and the majority of the messages that have been sent to me only say “hello”. Now, for some that might be enough, but for me I want a little more than just a “hey” or “hello” or “hey beautiful”.. When I read these things it makes me feel like the men don’t really care enough to put some thought behind their messages. Now, I have gotten a few that put more and I contacted those men. However, once the exchanging of numbers began, that is where the whole “hey you got more pics” questions come about; or when they feel that sending me a text with a picture of their d*ck is a great idea. I’m sorry but if I am genuinely trying to get to know someone sending me a nude pic is not going to work for me. It is these types of men that put me on guard about all men on that site. Believe me I try not to and do my best to not judge but it can be difficult. I agree that women should get out there and look for what they want and there are many money grubbers out there, but for me I am looking for a long term relationship. When I look at men’s profiles I do look to see if they have a job; NOT because I want them to support me (because I am doing just fine on my own), but because I am learning from past mistakes and am not looking for a guy who doesn’t have the ability to support themselves. I would like to find someone that I could possibly be with for a long period of time, possibly marriage or children in the future, so why would I go with a man who can’t support himself? If you can support yourself how would you be able to support a family?

  42. I understand that women hate to find out that the guy lied to them, but the guy who lied got the date.

    I am and always have been rigorously honest on my profiles. I’m 5’6 3/4″ so I put 5’6″. That’s bare feet. I am usually perceived as being 5’9″. Attitude plays a part.

    My income from the family business takes into account a home provided rent free. Nonetheless I put the income I report to the IRS: $15,000.

    For over a decade, I tried to be the one honest man.

    In over a decade, I got 2 responses to my ad – per year. I managed ONE (1) successful relationship. She lived 1400 miles away. She was shocked to find that I was exactly who I said I was, and the only reason she took up with me was I lived near her son.

    My honesty had NOTHING to do with anything.

    I recommend that men lie. I wasted 15+ years being a man that no woman would believe existed, and therefore I didn’t exist.

  43. Ecclesiastes and any guy who wants to know;
    For most women it all comes down to… how do you make the women you meet feel?Did you ever see an incredibly beautifull woman with a so-so looking guy and say”what does she see in him?”
    Let me tell you it’s not what see’s…how tall he is…how much money he makes…he makes her feel like a queen and when you meet someone you like if you persue her…woo her…and tell her “she makes your day”by texting,calling(not a stalker thing)LOL but when each feel that attraction its welcomed.Guys don’t know a daily afirmation can change from dating into a relationship.women loved to be loved and if she’s the right one she’ll love you back.The best feeling in the world is to love someone,to be loved back even better.

  44. Myaka,

    Thank you for posting in my support. Exactly. One has to meet them to be able to make them feel anything, so say whatever it takes to get that done. Afterwards too, because she really doesn’t care about honesty as long as she is happy.

    Yes, Myaka, that’s just what I meant. Thank you, again.

    I understand that if this makes you unhappy that you’ll say something else. It’s OK. I get it now.

  45. Ecclesiastes……(get a shorter,easier screen name)
    your attitude is the problem just want to say shame on you.
    you sound immature thats why your still single…
    I meant for all that to happen when and if you meet someone you like any women will see right thru you if your playing her.
    I speak from a 35 year marriage…we were deeply in love.
    my husband passed in 09.

  46. Myaka,

    You’re right about them seeing right through me. Guile was never a skill I developed and, now, at 55, I don’t know that I’ll be able to. I can’t say I’m trying very hard.

    I can see why you’d think me immature. The idealism of youth held on for far too long, which is why I recommend that young men grow up and understand that the world is not that beautiful place they’ve been told.

    I’m glad to read that you had a long and happy marriage, but that makes you both rare on dating websites and unqualified to address the issue.

    I suspect that you are plagued with scoundrels and the sound of a man rallying still more is an ugly one. I have sad news for you. While you were married, your sisters trained us to be this way. They rewarded liars and used men like me as crying towels and tools. Ask around.

    Thank you, again, for confirming that women want happy not honesty.

    Oh, the profile above is all still true. Verification of all information is gladly provided and my policy is to send my name, direct e-mail addresses, phone number, work place, and physical home address in the second POF message to reassure correspondants of my openness. For you, I’ll count this exchange as the first.

  47. Ecclesiastes…..I’m still not sure of your point …I am no longer on pof because of the playa’s and bs.I am honest and open always.
    I wish I could communicate with you off this blog.
    I will try to send you an email.
    ps…your very cute.

  48. Youre all hilarious pretending like pof, a viable service offering to connect people is the problem, rather than your own dissatisfaction for the way reality operates. The way people behave directly reflects what I’d happening in their hearts. If their behaviors are less than that what meets your standards or beliefs of life, then quite simply you have the choice to respect the difference or change your expectations. Either way, you are the one who is dissatisfied. You will never become a happy strong mature man if you keep blaming the world for your discomfort in trying to find someone. It’s tough, life is. Besides from what I can see and have heard from
    Girls on the site is that most interactions have dishonest intentions. So much even that the guy isn’t even aware of how much he deceives himself. A strong independent beautiful woman will not want a man who is trying to use her to make him feel better about himself. Confident attacts confident. Pod is simply a tool, and one that is free. I’ve met many amazing women and have had my fun. And I’ve grown up from that lifestyle… And I can say one thing for sure. If every bad date or interaction I had I got frustrated at, I would never have kept going to meet amazing people. But that alone just describes our world. Come on men… Let’s be men, and not whiny complaining babies. If women want to be defensive and bitchy to weed through the wussies, then simply let them be who they are and YOU simply just NOT be a wuss yourself and you won’t have a problem.

  49. Alot of women just go on these sites to massage their ego’s and in reality have little intention of meeting anyone only if they are super desirable. Of course they don’t say that publicily

    Men and women attitude towards dating sites are opposite. E.g. In terms dating value (intelligence, personality, looks etc) a guy who is a 7 would be perpared to go on a date with a women who is 5 or higher. On the other hand a women who is a 7 on the site would only be perpared to date a guy who is a 9 or higher.

    In reality those two should be in correspondents but the women will reject the 7 guy as not being good enough for her while she finds very few guys that meet her imposed standards. Thus a women makes an account, feels frustrated that there’s very few modelesque guys, rejects the guys who are in the same league or better then says, “OMG men on dating sites are rubbish” and make some blog posts about how their too good for it and how online dating is flawed to make themselves feel good.

    Though following on from the vibe of ‘Stephen’s post if girls want to be silly let them, there loss. Be thankful you didn’t get into interaction with some silly woman as they would of just wasted your time anyway, too many other things in life.

  50. While it may work for some, I feel the vast majority leave disappointed. Whether it’s a combination of a poorly written profile, bad selection of potential dates in your area, or just a bad attitude, we’ve seen it all online.

    It’s definitely not a place for those who aren’t thick skinned; people tend to present themselves in a different light online. From bold faced lies to dated pictures to all manner of factors making someone the classic undateable.

    I think it’s fine for those looking for quick thrills, but aside from that the sheer competition gives many of these women overinflated egos that are hard to ignore. What’s amusing is that many of these women I would classify as ‘average looking’, and that’s on a good day with sufficient make-up. I’m not trying to be rude here, just telling you my experience.

    What you’ll find online in no way, shape or form, resembles a realistic dating atmosphere. It’s full of people that you would immediately rule out had you seen them in a public place, as opposed to countless hours,days chatting with someone, finally meet and they don’t even resemble your image of that person. Disappointment.

    Once again, I’m sure it’s worked well for some, yet for others including myself, it was nothing more than some adult fun. Time to move on.

  51. I have tried pay sites,free sites and my expierence is bad.I just don’t believe they work.For the last 3 years it’s just a waste of time,money.
    the guy’s profiles always read “looking for a relationship” do they even know what that means?I was married 31 years till he passed 4 years ago so I know what a relationship means.
    I never had a clue men where so rude.

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