Lately I have been getting really good at having great flirty conversations on PlentyofFish. I’ve found that the most successful email message exchanges, regardless if I initiate contact with the girl or she does, is all about banter.
What do I mean by “banter?” Well to put it simply, it’s a kind of humorous, playful, seemingly spontaneous conversation in which both parties are in good spirits. It is also kind of like teasing in a sense, you know, like when you were a little kid on the playground and that girl or boy would punch you in the arm for no reason, it’s because he/she really had a crush.
I’d like to share one sample conversational email thread with a cute girl who had actually contacted me, asking a simple question about my dating profile, which is filled with interesting conversation bait as any good online dating profile should. The names and certain details have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent (I’ll let you decide who’s who:-). Also, I will be adding my own commentary afterward in the blue writing to explain what is going on in my diabolical mind.
Email Message #1: From Jane
I’m curious how your marathon went. Did you find minimal padding was ideal or were you aching afterward?
You seem very unique, and interesting.~Jane
Email Message #2: From Me
Hi Jane,
The marathon went well and though I was sore afterward, the recover was shorter than usual. I do believe that minimalist shoes allow your feet to move more naturally and is beneficial to creating a more efficient foot strike. I’ve done a lot research and self experimentation in this area; it’s pretty interesting stuff. Are you a runner?
Also, I’ve been trying to figure out what the heck that costume is in the third picture of your profile… lion king outfit???
-Matthew
Email Message #3: From Jane
Amazing, but I suppose it shouldn’t be so surprising. In high school I was forced to be a runner, and sort of continued after but to a much lesser degree.
I have nooo idea what it is, it has horns so maybe a mountain goat of sorts? I was in charge of organizing an attic full of costumes that the high school drama club and the local community theater uses and…that happened
.
~Jane
Email Message #4: From Me
Ha ha, well, whatever it is it’s funny. You seem like you might be prone to getting into mischief… like the kind of girl who’d explore their parents’ forbidden attic or that old creepy abandoned house down the street.
Pop quiz, where would you rather go exploring: a distant mountain range, a tropical paradise, a vast wilderness or the urban jungle of a foreign city?
Extra points for being creative:)
Email Message #5: From Jane
A little trouble is good for the soul. I love abandoned houses, I just try to avoid the illegal actions (breaking and entering and such).
I love mountains, last month we went to trail days in damascus,va and that is a beautiful place to explore, but what’s more interesting is digging through the people. There were so many different “types” of people all with fascinating stories. I adore cities also, back alleys and finding those amazing restraunts that no one else realize is there, or the authentic belly dance shop that draws you in (or whatever your passions may be at the time). I find it’s a lot like antiquing, when you find something that looks like junk but inside is marvelous (I greatly enjoy going to garage sales like that too).
Email Message #6: From Me
Wow, you are adventurous, I think we need to start an explorers club, what do you think? How about we make our first adventure to get some ice cream cones?
Email Message #7: From Jane
That would be great, you can call me this evening, here’s my # (555) 555-5555
~Jane
Related posts:
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey, I'm impressed by the tactics. Email analysis and response is one of those skills that you never know you have til you're staring down the barrel of a dating website…
Still, I've generally found that people are often ready for you to suggest a date a lot sooner than you think – sooner even than seven dates. After all, you're never going to find out if you fancy someone til you meet them – so if you like their profile, and their first email, you might as well suggest a meet up pretty soon after. It's the only way you'll know…
I'm on POF and am amazed by how many men never ask any questions. Last guy I went out with from there (3 months) proved to be self obsessed and I remember it took him SIX messages to ask me a question, lol. Lesson well and truly learned! Don't always trust what they say in their profile, judge from their behaviour and you will do well.
i ask stupid questions to the ladies every message. i think that it is important to carry on with the conversation. if you just go on about shit ya bore em and they stop responding. Just ask a stupid question about anything and the responses are usually good!
some good tips there, I've used online dating for a while and know first hand that the more effort you put into your chatting up in initial emails there better the chances there are for having a date agreed. It's not always that simple though – there are times when the women are very forward and will suggest a date out of the blue. It's all down to having a good selection of pics and catchy / interesting profile in my opinion.
Did you guys go out? How was it?
I noticed that your site is mostly about POF and I was wondering if you did profile critiques? I have one that gets alot of responses for its uniqueness, but doesn’t really ‘hook’ anyone. I was asking if you’d take a look.
Very well played. So how’d it go?
.-= HookUpGuy´s last blog ..Facebook Hookup List Deadline Passes =-.
this article was very informative. I have also noticed that direct compliments are cheesy, and they dont respond. I like that you insulted jane humurously, just because she was probably used to non stop compliments, and then was critiqued on something that was actually something that she was fully interested in.