The 3 Things Women Look For in Online Dating

Anyone who’s done some online dating knows that there are a lot more than three things to look for, but women look for three things first. These three things define what women want in a potential mate. They also affect how many dates the man will get, how good those dates will be, and how good of a match the women who contact him will be to his personality and preferences. What are these top three crucial things?

• Good Picture – This may sound shallow, but women want a good-looking man just as much as men want a good looking woman. The difference here is that our definitions of ‘good looking’ may vary. Most of us not looking at the size of your pecs, your six-pack, or your rear. We are looking at your face. The way you hold yourself. The look in your eyes. I’m not advocating a ‘smolder’, but an honest, clear picture is worth a thousand words. So you may be a little chunky or you haven’t lost all your acne or you wear glasses. So what? I’d rather see that now than see some fuzzy, off-centered webcam shot or a faraway pic of you on a mountain-top somewhere. Besides, what good will it do for you to hide what you look like in the long run? You will have to meet them in person sometime if you really are looking for a relationship. Weed out the overly-superficial now, but don’t scare away the normal people with a weirdo profile picture.
• Confident but Not Cocky – Your profile says a lot about you. If you aren’t willing to put in the time to fill it out, then you aren’t willing to put in the time to create meaningful relationships either. But how do you fill out all those touchy-feely questions without sending the woman running? Simple. Be confident, but not cocky. You can talk about yourself. This is the place to do it. I don’t want to read an online dating profile about how great your hobby is or your dog, I want to read about you. But don’t go too far. I don’t want to read a list of awards you’ve won, the miles you’ve run, or the mountains you’ve climbed. Sure, you can mention them, in passing, but don’t make that the main focus of your profile. Perfect the balance of confident and strong without being overpowering and prideful.
• Clear – Last but not least, be clear in what you want. If you are only interested in hot, skinny chicks with big boobs, say that. It’s not politically correct, but I’d rather dismiss you now than try to talk to you and find it out later. Maybe you’ll get one of those to flirt with you, you never know. Maybe you’re not that extreme, but you do prefer women who are shorter than you or like sports or like dogs or something reasonable. Say it. Even if I’m not that type, I’ll respect you for knowing what you want and not being afraid to ask for it. Believe me, women would be better off if we did the same thing.

These three things are just little hints for guys in what’s going on in a girl’s head. We look for so many things at once that it’s not even funny. You can’t hope to cover them all. But you can start out on the right foot by making sure you do at least these three things right. There are normal girls out there. The more reasonable and confident you are in your own profile, the more normal responses you’ll get. Oh, one last thing. If you’re not online consistently, don’t expect to get a lot of responses. You have to put time and effort in to get quality out. If that’s not for you, I suggest going back to the single’s bars.

Mary Edwards is one of the contributors and editors for dating websites. She is passionate about thought leadership writing, regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting and online dating community. She can be reached at edwardsmary936 AT gmail.com.