While it is hard to quantify whether any online dating website works for anyone, or whether one site is more trustworthy in it’s business practices than others, I feel that there is some evidence out there that suggests that Ashley Madison is used and does work for some people.
Though I have personally never used the site, I will point out a few people who have written about their experiences using Ashley Madison, along with their approach to finding dates or potential affairs on the site. And while these experiences are limited to particular people’s experiences, hopefully the anecdotal evidence is enough to help you decide if Ashley Madison works or not.
Ashley and Me by Riff dog
One of the best examples of the Ashley Madison site working for someone is from the Ashley and Me blog run by notorious extramaterial affair aficionado, Riff Dog. Not only are Riff Dog’s stories of his many affairs entertaining, he also shows how advantageous the site would be for a man with the proper approach of seeking out an affair.
Update – 2/28/12: unfortunately the Ashley and Me blog has been deleted from the Interwebs and is no longer available.
However, the problem here is that it is clear from Riff Dog’s stories that he is no average man. In fact, it appears that he has somewhat of a background, or at least knowledge in the field of seduction, either that or he is a natural. Regardless, while he is definitely out of the norm of an average man’s experience with the Ashley Madison dating site, it does show the potential that the site may provide given the right attitude and experience.
The Nerve’s Ashley Madison Experiment
The fantastic Nerve.com did a nice experiment and write-up a few years ago about one of their male writer’s, Jack Harrison, attempts at setting out to see how well he could do at having affairs with married women.
Interestingly, Jack’s first attempts failed miserably, though mostly because of his approach. He had initially listed that he was a single man, and only contacted women with pictures. After this he made two big discoveries that significantly increased the amount of legitimate messages he received from married women. So what were the two big changes he made?
- First, he switched his status to ‘attached male seeking females’ and though it was somewhat of a stretch of the truth for him, he surmised that married women are more likely to trust other men in the same situation as them, i.e. married but looking for an affair.
- The second big change that Jack made was to message a bunch of women who had no pictures at all. Unlike regular online dating sites, he concluded that since people who use Ashley Madison need to be very discreet, then the more legitimate men and women are the ones who are actively trying to hide their identity.
In the end, using his new techniques, Jack did end up seeing multiple women and having affairs with a few of them. And this was his conclusion on whether Ashley Madison works:
Ashley Madison works. Like most — if not all — internet dating sites, it’s probably much easier if you’re a woman, and it helps if you’re not too picky. But there are definitely a lot of people out there looking for affairs.
Is Ashley Madison a Scam? – Skeptical Reviews
While I’ve only presented two male experiences in using the site so far, it would be biased of me if I didn’t present views from people who use AshleyMadison.com that had bad experiences, are skeptical of whether or not it works and those that claim that it is an outright scam.
The following site, has many Ashley Madison reviews in which users can submit their experiences. And after reading through a handful of the reviews, you will notice that there are many unhappy customers who either claim that it just didn’t work for them or that they somehow felt scammed out of their money.
So with all of that being said, in my personal opinion, using AshleyMadison.com is like using any other online dating site, in that it depends on how you approach the site, how much work you are willing to put into creating a good profile, how many people you contact, what gender you are, and how attractive you are. Based on those qualities, yes, it is definitely possible that Ashley Madison can work for someone, though like any other dating option, a lot of people will be left out in the cold.
What do you think? Please let us all know your opinion in the comments. Also, if you’ve had an experience on the site, please be sure to write that in the comments below as well. Cheers!