Does Ashley Madison Work?

While it is hard to quantify whether any online dating website works for anyone, or whether one site is more trustworthy in it’s business practices than others, I feel that there is some evidence out there that suggests that Ashley Madison is used and does work for some people.

Though I have personally never used the site, I will point out a few people who have written about their experiences using Ashley Madison, along with their approach to finding dates or potential affairs on the site. And while these experiences are limited to particular people’s experiences, hopefully the anecdotal evidence is enough to help you decide if Ashley Madison works or not.

Ashley and Me by Riff dog

One of the best examples of the Ashley Madison site working for someone is from the Ashley and Me blog run by notorious extramaterial affair aficionado, Riff Dog. Not only are Riff Dog’s stories of his many affairs entertaining, he also shows how advantageous the site would be for a man with the proper approach of seeking out an affair.

Update – 2/28/12: unfortunately the Ashley and Me blog has been deleted from the Interwebs and is no longer available.

However, the problem here is that it is clear from Riff Dog’s stories that he is no average man. In fact, it appears that he has somewhat of a background, or at least knowledge in the field of seduction, either that or he is a natural. Regardless, while he is definitely out of the norm of an average man’s experience with the Ashley Madison dating site, it does show the potential that the site may provide given the right attitude and experience.

The Nerve’s Ashley Madison Experiment

Nerve's Experiment
The fantastic did a nice experiment and write-up a few years ago about one of their male writer’s, Jack Harrison, attempts at setting out to see how well he could do at having affairs with married women.

Interestingly, Jack’s first attempts failed miserably, though mostly because of his approach. He had initially listed that he was a single man, and only contacted women with pictures. After this he made two big discoveries that significantly increased the amount of legitimate messages he received from married women. So what were the two big changes he made?

  • First, he switched his status to ‘attached male seeking females’ and though it was somewhat of a stretch of the truth for him, he surmised that married women are more likely to trust other men in the same situation as them, i.e. married but looking for an affair.
  • The second big change that Jack made was to message a bunch of women who had no pictures at all. Unlike regular online dating sites, he concluded that since people who use Ashley Madison need to be very discreet, then the more legitimate men and women are the ones who are actively trying to hide their identity.

In the end, using his new techniques, Jack did end up seeing multiple women and having affairs with a few of them. And this was his conclusion on whether Ashley Madison works:

Ashley Madison works. Like most — if not all — internet dating sites, it’s probably much easier if you’re a woman, and it helps if you’re not too picky. But there are definitely a lot of people out there looking for affairs.

Is Ashley Madison a Scam? – Skeptical Reviews

Ashley Madison Scam

While I’ve only presented two male experiences in using the site so far, it would be biased of me if I didn’t present views from people who use that had bad experiences, are skeptical of whether or not it works and those that claim that it is an outright scam.

The following site, has many Ashley Madison reviews in which users can submit their experiences. And after reading through a handful of the reviews, you will notice that there are many unhappy customers who either claim that it just didn’t work for them or that they somehow felt scammed out of their money.


So with all of that being said, in my personal opinion, using is like using any other online dating site, in that it depends on how you approach the site, how much work you are willing to put into creating a good profile, how many people you contact, what gender you are, and how attractive you are. Based on those qualities, yes, it is definitely possible that Ashley Madison can work for someone, though like any other dating option, a lot of people will be left out in the cold.

What do you think? Please let us all know your opinion in the comments. Also, if you’ve had an experience on the site, please be sure to write that in the comments below as well. Cheers!

8 thoughts on “Does Ashley Madison Work?

  1. Your post is a great overview of actual user experiences but you don’t go into much detail on the AshleyMadisonSucks website. I took a closer look and all of the user stories there are actually men who are frustrated with their lack of success. They could benefit from reading the Nerve article you posted on more effective adultery strategies.

    Are there any stories from female users out there?

    I published a story this week on how eHarmony helped create a massive online dating industry but left out married people, and now Ashley is capitalizing on that market. Although it might not “guarantee” an affair for everyone, the website has generated massive profits.
    I’d be very interested in your opinion :

  2. Aleed, it isn’t just ashleymadisonsucks that has negative reviews…As I’ve been looking around, one of the big complaints is that there actually aren’t any women and that most of the profiles are fakes. Take a look at the example website I put in my website box, obviously people having bad experiences with Ashley Madison is not just a bunch of people having bad luck, right?

  3. Doubtful above ^^ is correct, there are a lot of sites that are starting to surface that uncover the scam that is taking place on

  4. One of the big points that should be researched is whether profiles are real. If many or potentially even a majority of (especially female) profiles are fake, that is the scam right there. If a site is real, it shouldn’t have to have that, condon it, or be posting themselves to look like there is activity.

    I think the reviewers should focus on this. Otherwise from what I’ve seen a ton of these blog posts and stories are also actually bait to tempt you in to thinking the sites are not scams. How to really know?

  5. i have been on this site for almost of 2 months. and it is a experience. that is in a good way and a bad way. that is my opionion . the me3n on the site should be more honest than they are on the site. along with the woman whom answer, also,.

  6. I had a great time on AM, it’s a great place to hook up have some fun and go back to my boring life with my 25 year marriage. Women you should give it a try, better then the bar.

  7. I joined AM out of lonliness for the affection I missed in my 40 year marriage and the first male I found that sounded as though he might be genuine was very nice.
    We chatted for awhile and then met for a coffee.
    It has been nine months now and we still have a loving sexual relationship outside of both our marriages so for me it has been a blessing.
    No one is being hurt so why not enjoy what may be missing in an otherwise happy marriage except for what really counts.

  8. So far I’ve had no luck on AM but it’s only been a week. I believe that everything that is being said about AM is true. It’s a scam. It works. Many of the female profiles are created. Etc…

    I’m from a medium-sized relatively conservative city in Colorado. The only woman that initiated contact with me so far had a 24-yr-old supermodel face and bod and lives in Illinois. Local women that have opened their private pics and profiles on my request look marvelously typical and attainable for their ages. I have sent chat messages to about 10 of these women. I can be a pretty smooth guy but in every case I see that they’ve opened the message but do not respond. 10 with no response? They could see my profile before they opened their mug shots so they were supposedly interested enough to grant me access. Then I give each one a coy, clever, polite or playful teaser and not one reply? That is contrary to the odds. They’re on the site to flirt if anything. I’m not being rude or obnoxious…

    This is my theory on the whole thing: there are real women on the network, but I am not seeing them yet, or they’re not seeing me, even if the profiles are real. I paid for the introductory package, not the affair guaranteed package. There are teams of employees following an algorithm for each account. The variables that the employees are able to offer are limited so the patterns of responses are predictable to observant skeptics.

    Most guys get frustrated before they pay enough to get their attempts to real women. Because I live in a low utilization area it probably takes longer to get access to the very few women on the site. In a market like LA male customers are more likely to hit pay dirt sooner. The site is a monopoly…they manage the supply based on the demand and there is no regulatory agency. This is just my best guess.

    I’m not an economist or a businessman but if I can come up with this theory in five minutes, imagine the strategies these AM guys could come up with. It’s not really fair to the female clients either. If a profile as a “great catch” from the female perspective I might get stung along by the AM guys for weeks before I am actually available. Sheesh…why are we all not in this business?

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