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Online Dating Theory

It wasn’t soon after the big Internet boom of the early 2000s that people began flocking to online dating sites in droves. Today the online dating industry is HUGE, raking in vast fortunes, in exchange for matching people up with their potential soul mates or even their occasional flings.

Ever since the online dating industry began, the big promise was that the Internet dating realm would make our lives, in terms of courtship an easy process. They compared their dating sites to that of simply flipping through a catalog of pretty faces and hot bods. And all you had to do was pick one, right? Well, unfortunately that promise of easy courtship is a complete and utter lie. In fact, I would venture to say that online dating is much harder than traditional dating.

The 80/20 Rule

In the seduction and dating community there is something called the 80/20 Rule. The rule basically states that approximately 20% of the men are having relationships or sex with 80% of the women.

The reason for this is that a small portion of the male population are alpha males in which they have the ability and willingness to pursue relations with many different women. On the other hand, the larger population of Beta males either ends up being lonely for a large majority of his life or will eventually settle down with one female to start a family. The Betas have little choice.

The 95/5 Rule

As most men can attest, online dating is quite the difficult endeavor and most end up failing or giving up out right. The issue here is that, the population of males on online dating sites are usually much much higher than the populations of females. Therefore, females are likely to be getting contacted by 20-100 males per day, giving the females an overwhelming choice of potential suitors. Meanwhile, the males are lucky to get contacted by a female once in a week, if at all.

Because the females have overwhelming choice it’s easy to discard a majority of the suitors in favor of the BEST male candidates. Thus, only the top echelon of male candidates in the online dating world will get dates with a majority of the females. This incredibly skewed ratio is what I call the 95/5 Rule. As in, only 5% of the men are dating 95% of the women.

The Online Dating Paradox Explained

The Online Dating Paradox is something I’ve been thinking about and working on a lot lately. I’m still trying to refine the basic concept behind my thinking but It’s kind of similar to the Fermi Paradox which states:

The apparent size and age of the universe suggests that many technologically advanced extraterrestrial civilizations ought to exist. However, this hypothesis seems inconsistent with the lack of observational evidence to support it.

Though the Fermi Paradox is regarding the existence of extraterrestrial beings in the universe, I believe it has a remarkable similarity to the online dating realm.

If there is access to so many potential mates in the world, then why is it so difficult to find them?

Although, I will admit that the Online Dating Paradox mostly only exists for men, however, I do recognize the women also have an extremely hard time with online dating in their own dilemmas.

So What’s the Point?

I’m not sure really, I just wanted to sound all sciencey and philosophical…

However, if there was a point to this blog, I suppose it would be to research, experiment and find effective ways for combating my made-up Online Dating Paradox. Also, there will be lots of charts and graphs, what can I say, I’m numbers kind of guy…

2 thoughts on “About

  1. Hi , if I delete pof acct will I still be visible anywhere on the site , ie will I still be on people who viewed me and will messages I sent to others be deleted. Basically will I disappear from the site with no trace ?

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